Why I don’t write book reviews

Instead of writing book reviews in which I analyse books and lay out the reasons you might like or hate them, I write not-reviews… which don’t. But they are more fun.

You might have noticed I don’t write book reviews, though recently I have been writing a fair few not-reviews in which Sebastian and Rain rant or rave about something I’ve been reading.

I know I’ve talked about why I don’t want to recommend books. Today I’m going to (try and figure out and then) explain my logic for writing not-reviews.

I probably have a number of good reasons. Let’s see if we can work out what they are.

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An impassioned rant about Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult

This is not a review of Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult. It is an impassioned rant about it. Is it a good rant or a bad rant? I’ll let you decide.

Rain: This is my rant about Leaving Time, and the first thing I want to say is what an uninspiring title for a beatiful book. “Leaving Time”. Two words that are entirely unemotive and suggest nothing about what the book’s about. Okay, sure, you see where the phrase comes from and it does mean something to the characters at a time, but this aspect is so lightly developed that it really doesn’t do it for me. And to someone who hasn’t read the book the words mean nothing. Ugh! I almost didn’t read it because of the title.

Sebastian: Ah, but you did read it.

Rain: Well, yea. Because elephants. The elephants were glorious and beautiful and touching and I want to meet them all now! The book should have been called something about elephants. “The Grief of Elephants” seems appropriate and captures the feeling of the book so much better than “Leaving Time”.

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Not a review of Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

My writer half and my reader half discuss Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn and even agree on a few things about it. I’ve tried to avoid major spoilers, but if you don’t want to know anything about the book then don’t read this post until after you’ve read it.

Sebastian, Rain and I just finished reading Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, and now we’re not going to write a review about it. But we are going to talk about it.

Gone Girl got on my list of mega-popular books to read because of its 44,974 Amazon reviews (and counting).

However, it’s somewhat interesting that it only has four stars. Even the lamest of self-published books usually manages an average of four stars, so I have to assume a lot of people hate this book.

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PG thoughts on the mystery of 50 Shades of Grey

I can learn something from reading any bestseller, even Fifty Shades of Grey. 

As part of my quest to read mega-bestsellers, I recently read Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James. This post is my attempt to share my thoughts on it.

I’m not reviewing the book, and I’m not going to attack or defend the things portrayed in it. But, like it or hate it, it is humongously successful, and my purpose is to see what I can learn from it.

The first thing I asked myself when I decided to talk about this book is how much I can say on a PG blog. Can I say the word “sex”?

Hey, I just did. I guess that’s a yes.

What about “kinky sex”? Looks like I can say that too. But that’s as far as I’m going to go.

Now that I’ve figured out the rules, shall we make a start?

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Sebastian and Rain read three books and kind of like them

Sebastian and Rain won’t let me write an introduction. They insist on getting straight into talking about the books they read.

Rain: You talked so much last time, this time I should get to start.

Sebastian peels a grape and slips it into his mouth.

Rain: We read Divergent by Veronica Roth. Did you know that right now it has 44,555 reviews on Amazon? That’s so freaking many!

Sebastian: And I’m not really sure why. The whole book was rather silly and juvenile.

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