Why Twitter friends are better than real life friends

Twitter friends are a wonder of social media, especially if you’re an introverted writer looking for community. Here’s why they’re so great.

Twitter friends are small, two-dimensional creatures that often take the appearance of models, bearded knights, cats, household items, or occasionally book covers. They live in an application on your phone or a tab in your computer browser, and provide inspiration, encouragement, commiseration, congratulations, or random silliness as appropriate.

You can never be sure what form Twitter friends take in the physical world or what their physical-world names are, but none of this matters.

Names are only labels for people, and handles work just as well for that purpose. (Mine’s @AkkalonAS, in case you didn’t know.)

As for physical form, as long as the physical form can type, it’s wholly irrelevant.

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Sorry, I already have too many friends

Too many friends: swan

I had a wonderful day with you today, though I really shouldn’t have eaten so much apple pie. The swans would have liked more.

Again next week? I’d love to.

You want to be friends?

A cloud blocks the sun and the drone of flies competes with the noise of the highway.

Sorry, I already mumble mumble.

What?

I already have too many friends.

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Two reasons I automatically trust you

I would trust this cat.
Now this is a trustworthy cat.

If you look around, the world seems like a big, scary place full of stalkers, crazies, and people out to take advantage of you. Plus a few Nigerian princes who really really want to give you a fortune.

With all the people you meet online and in real life, you need a quick way to determine who is trustworthy and who is lying about wanting to give you an inheritance from a great aunt you never knew existed.

I have a simple system for deciding who to trust that has very rarely let me down.

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