cats Archives | A.S. Akkalon

Five reasons you should aspire to being a crazy cat lady

Life is better when you’re ruled by cats. Here’s why you should become a crazy cat lady today.

A crazy cat lady* is a person who has cats** instead of children (or as well as children), dotes on them to the extent of rearranging her house and her life around them, and has much more important things to do than brush her hair.

* In a gender-non-specific sense

** Experts have not yet reached a consensus over whether one cat is sufficient to make a crazy cat lady.

A crazy cat lady has fur on her clothes and knows better than to leave an unattended glass of water on the table.

The night the monster wasn’t under the bed

The spooky and almost entirely true story about the night my cats didn’t find a monster under my bed

A scratching noise woke me at 2am.

I stared at the paler patch of ceiling over the curtains and thought of the drawers under my bed, which slid in and out too easily and were deep enough to hide a man-eating monster.

The scratching came again. It was definitely under my bed.

Introducing my three feline overlords

I have three cats and they’re all here to say hi. The photo isn’t them.

I promised I’d introduce my three new cats, but today I’m going to do better. I’ve brought them along to introduce themselves. They’ve been with me about a year, and not one has finished the first draft of their novel yet, but I’m sure they have plenty of other things to tell you about.

Alecia: So here with me today I have Little Squeak, Runs from Jeans, and Princess Persephone Fluffybum. Why don’t you guys start by introducing yourselves?

Little Squeak: Where’s the catnip? You said there’d be catnip.

Alecia: You ate the catnip. Can introduce yourself anyway?

Little Squeak: I’d rather bite Runs from Jeans.

Little Squeak straddles Runs from Jeans and munches on his ear.

Alecia: That was Little Squeak. He’s a green-eyed, short-haired tabby with the most ridiculous meow you ever heard–

Interview with Kim M. Watt, author of funny books with cats and dragons

Prolific author and A+ human being Kim M. Watt shares her secrets on dragons, cats, writing, tea, and magic cake.

It turns out I have friends. (Yay, me!) And sometimes I interview them. This is one of those interviews.

Kim M. Watt used to be like me, i.e. unpublished. Now she has a magnificent tower of published books and, even better, they all have cats and/or dragons in them.

I can’t describe how hard I approve.

Here’s my interview with her, including all her own unedited words, and just a few extra paragraph breaks.

How to be a writer: 13 required quirks

I was honoured when the lovely Lucy of BlondeWriteMore invited me to write a guest post, and I thought I’d share the intelligence I’ve gathered in my time undercover as a writer. (Yes, I’m watching Burn Notice again. How did you know?)

I had a lot of fun writing this piece, and I hope you have fun reading it: How to be a writer: 13 required quirks.

Eighty-three percent of people want to be writers, but not just anyone can be.

For the past six months I have been deep undercover in the online world of writers, learning their peculiar ways in order to better mimic them and hopefully one day become one of them.

My research has led me to the conclusion that there are thirteen quirks required to be a writer. Today they will be shared for the first time.

1: You must be crazy about cats

Continue reading on BlondeWriteMore.

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