Good advice for life (and Sharknado)

Tornado or Sharknado?

In which I reflect on my morning’s activities and decide strategy is not my strong suit. Plus, sharks in tornados.

#1: If you’re going to watch Sharknado with your twitter friends while live-tweeting, don’t do it during your usual blog-writing time.

#2: If you’ve just watched Sharknado and have to blog, don’t promise yourself you’re not going to blog about sharks. Because you are going to blog about sharks, even if you’ve done it before.

#3: If you’re sleepy when you’re blogging, don’t trust your spellchecker when it tells you that “haev” is a perfectly acceptable word.

#4: Don’t trust your spellchecker at all. It thinks “Sharknado” is a real word. (It’s not a real, word, is it? I can feel my conception of the world turning upside down.)

#5: In the case of the end of the world, always carry a weapon appropriate to your specific apocalypse. In the case of shark-bearing tornados, appropriate weapons include bombs and chainsaws.

#6: Just because the only two things you have to do on Saturday morning are watch Sharknado and blog, don’t assume you’ll also have time to edit a scene from your WIP.

#7: Don’t break your streak of two blog posts a week every week for 35 weeks just because all you can think about is sharks flying out of tornados and eating people.

#8: Blame Anna Kaling (@AnnaKaling) for everything because it’s probably her fault. At least, Sharknado was her idea.

Shark coming in a window: Sharknado
In the event of flying sharks, stay at least twelve feet away from all windows.

#9: Don’t be the “new husband” unless you want to get eaten by a shark. Do be the new girlfriend because you’ll get to sit in the front seat of the car. You’ll also get eaten by a shark, but you won’t die because chainsaws!

#10: Go out and watch Sharknado. After all my subtle references, you know you want to.

What is it with me and horror recently?

This was a short post, but don’t panic. I have a guest post coming out before Wednesday that I think you’re going to enjoy.

In the meantime, have you seen my post “Why you should write book reviews“?

Take care out there, people, and watch out for flying sharks.

Get notifications about all my posts and stories, no sharks or tornados (usually).

Author: A.S. Akkalon

By day, A.S. Akkalon works in an office where the computers outnumber the suits of armour more than two-to-one. By night, she puts dreams of medieval castles, swords, and dragons onto paper.

26 thoughts on “Good advice for life (and Sharknado)”

  1. Can I tell you. . . I’ve watched all four Sharknado movies, and we actually *paid* to rent the last one because we cancelled cable a while back and it was the only legal way to see it. Normally I’m mister super-deep artsy indie film, but sometimes you just need something ridiculous. And chainsaws. Lots of chainsaws.

    The second is my favorite. I’d tell you why, but in the off chance you haven’t seen it yet, I don’t want to ruin anything.

  2. Hmm, there should be some place combining sharks and video games. We could call it a “sharkade.”

    I’m not entirely sure what the deal would be, but I’ll leave it to the underlings to work out the petty details. I’m just the idea guy, the visionary.

  3. If it’s any consolation, I had so much work planned for Saturday, but #Sharknading on Friday night followed by the related #Sharknading dreams meant very little got done. Although I did rough out a blog. About #Sharknading…

  4. You really should see Grabbers. I’m addicted to impossible-horror (as opposed possible-horror, with stalkers and serial killers and diseases and such), and I very much liked Grabbers.

    However, my opinion is suspect. I also watched Zombeavers.

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