Lion cat and the tunnel of death

Lion in the kitchen
What would you do if you found this in your kitchen?

The empty bowl

The first sign something was wrong was the empty cat food bowl. His Royal Fluffiness (HRF) never cleans his bowl to the bedrock, and yet there both bowls were, sparkling clean.

I didn’t catch on at that stage, though I should have.

The next day I was in the living room with HRF and I heard a crash in the kitchen. It wasn’t the sort of crash you get when a breeze knocks over the paper towel roll, but more the kind of crash you get when an over excited feline spars with a bowl of cat food.

I jumped up and heard the thump thump thump of the cat flap. By the time I arrived in the kitchen it was empty and so was the cat food bowl.

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The Daring Adventures of WALL-E the Roomba

A non-black cat on a non-green carpet
A non-black cat on a non-green carpet

I have a long-haired black cat and pale green carpet. It didn’t take me long to discover that I have three options: I can vacuum every day, I can buy a darker coloured rug to cover the carpet so the cat fluff won’t be so obvious, or I can live with a carpet perpetually peppered with clumps of black fur.

I don’t love vacuuming enough to want to do it daily. I don’t love it at all. In fact, my optimal frequency of vacuuming is never.

My first choice would have been to buy a darker-coloured rug, but the number of rugs both I and my husband like is the same as the number of tortoises making a killing on Wall Street.

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Unkempt lawn or mysterious jungle?

Child and a puppy in a garden
This is not a picture of me. I’m not a dog.

When I was a kid, my parents lived near a lovely couple with a large garden who rarely (possibly never) mowed their lawn. The result was a sprawling jungle of knee- or possibly thigh-high grass stalks, intermingled with daisies, dandelions, dock, clover, and ubiquitous bees.

In other words, paradise.

A bunch of neighbourhood children used to play there, and it never occurred to us that not everyone was equally delighted by the unmown lawn.

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New Zealand’s had another earthquake

Broken eggs
Feeling a bit like this this morning.

Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt our usual programme for this unscheduled blog post.

I’m a rules kind of person myself, but I try not to impose my rules on others. Even to me, it seems a bit unreasonable to expect everyone else to drink the same coffee every day and sit on the same side of the table. (As long as I get my usual coffee and sit on the proper side of the table I’m happy.)

But I do have one rule that I’d like to insist on, especially in light of last night’s events.

The ground should not move.

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7 key ring tools for surviving the zombie apocalypse

Most people won’t survive the zombie apocalypse. Fortunately there are items you can assemble today to greatly increase your chances of being one of the few survivors, and they’re all small enough to fit on your key ring. Most will be useful even before the apocalypse.

Key ring with fun toys
Yes, this is really what I carry on my key ring, plus keys.

This is important. You don’t know where you’ll be when the zombie apocalypse breaks out, so survival gear sitting under your bed may do you no good at all. Keep them on your key ring, and always carry it with you.

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