Unkempt lawn or mysterious jungle?

Child and a puppy in a garden
This is not a picture of me. I’m not a dog.

When I was a kid, my parents lived near a lovely couple with a large garden who rarely (possibly never) mowed their lawn. The result was a sprawling jungle of knee- or possibly thigh-high grass stalks, intermingled with daisies, dandelions, dock, clover, and ubiquitous bees.

In other words, paradise.

A bunch of neighbourhood children used to play there, and it never occurred to us that not everyone was equally delighted by the unmown lawn.

Continue reading “Unkempt lawn or mysterious jungle?”

New Zealand’s had another earthquake

Broken eggs
Feeling a bit like this this morning.

Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt our usual programme for this unscheduled blog post.

I’m a rules kind of person myself, but I try not to impose my rules on others. Even to me, it seems a bit unreasonable to expect everyone else to drink the same coffee every day and sit on the same side of the table. (As long as I get my usual coffee and sit on the proper side of the table I’m happy.)

But I do have one rule that I’d like to insist on, especially in light of last night’s events.

The ground should not move.

Continue reading “New Zealand’s had another earthquake”

7 key ring tools for surviving the zombie apocalypse

Most people won’t survive the zombie apocalypse. Fortunately there are items you can assemble today to greatly increase your chances of being one of the few survivors, and they’re all small enough to fit on your key ring. Most will be useful even before the apocalypse.

Key ring with fun toys
Yes, this is really what I carry on my key ring, plus keys.

This is important. You don’t know where you’ll be when the zombie apocalypse breaks out, so survival gear sitting under your bed may do you no good at all. Keep them on your key ring, and always carry it with you.

Continue reading “7 key ring tools for surviving the zombie apocalypse”

How a shark ended my swimming career

When I was six, some bright spark decided to repaint the school swimming pool. The blue background was probably necessary to disguise the yellow water, but it was a pool for children, so they didn’t stop there.

Soon a dozen colourful starfish and octopuses crawled across the pool floor. I was as happy as you can be about cute creatures painted in a pool two degrees above having icebergs. (Actually, it was probably only the urine content that kept the pool from freezing entirely.)

Then there was the shark.

Continue reading “How a shark ended my swimming career”

Hello, this is me, A.S. Akkalon

Since this is my first post, I thought I’d introduce myself. Hello, I’m A.S. Akkalon and I write fantasy novels.

You can read all about my life on my bio page. Yes, I have a bio and it has its own page, because it makes me sound a bit more like an author and a bit less like some idiot who’s managed to figure out WordPress (and I can’t lay claim to that distinction just yet).

My bio is almost entirely true, and only some of it is metaphorical.

Continue reading “Hello, this is me, A.S. Akkalon”