Seventy-five percent of people you pass in the street are trying to lose weight. (Like 94% of statistics, this number is entirely fabricated.)
Trying to lose weight sucks for two reasons:
- You don’t get to eat food that’s full of empty calories and, face it, that’s most stuff that tastes good, like cookies, ice cream, and apricot pies.
- You don’t actually lose weight.
Continue reading “5 ways to eat your favourite foods absolutely guilt free”
When I was six, some bright spark decided to repaint the school swimming pool. The blue background was probably necessary to disguise the yellow water, but it was a pool for children, so they didn’t stop there.
Soon a dozen colourful starfish and octopuses crawled across the pool floor. I was as happy as you can be about cute creatures painted in a pool two degrees above having icebergs. (Actually, it was probably only the urine content that kept the pool from freezing entirely.)
Then there was the shark.
Continue reading “How a shark ended my swimming career”
I was looking for a picture of Brontosaurus recently (some days you need Brontosaurus) and I made a horrifying discovery: according to random-guy-on-the-web, Brontosaurus hasn’t been a separate genus of dinosaur for over a hundred years.
You heard me. Brontosaurus as we know him does not exist.
Continue reading “Brontosaurus is back and he’s bad”