Sebastian and Rain lament lock-down and their inability to read

Like everyone else living through the pandemic, Sebastian and Rain are shaken by what’s going on. A banana might be involved.

If you’ve been around a while, you might remember Sebastian and Rain, my writer half and my reader half. Usually they rant or rave about books and occasionally throw grapes at each other, but it turns out they have opinions about other things as well.

I’ll hand over to let them explain.

Sebastian: I should start by saying this was not my idea. I wanted to have a nice literary discussion about a book.

Rain: Do we ever have “nice literary discussions” about books?

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Unhelpful explanations of things you didn’t need explained

Read on for entirely unhelpful explanations of computers, windows, and cars. Because I’m here to make your life better.

Yesterday on Twitter, someone asked me to explain coffee. Okay, they probably weren’t asking me in particular, but I was there and I took it as a personal challenge.

I happen to know a thing or two about coffee, having had a long, slow-burning romance with it.

Did I succeed in explaining it?

I assume so. The person asking hasn’t been seen since.

I had so much fun explaining coffee that I’ve decided to explain some other things for your delight and edification. Enjoy.

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The glorious driveway from hell strikes again

I explain why for three months I’ve been walking nearly a km between my house and my car each day. The driveway did it.

November was an exciting month.

An electrical storm knocked out our power for two days, broke our internet for a month, and washed out our driveway.

You remember the driveway. Eight hundred metres winding up a hill through native bush, home to quail, glow worms, New Zealand freshwater crayfish, and a rabbit called Nicholas Augustus.

But I was talking about November.

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I don’t have the organisational skills to make a cooked breakfast

My inability to multi-task makes cooking breakfast a major undertaking. The bacon may not get out alive.

I have a confession.

I’m terrible at multi-tasking.

Don’t try to have a conversation with me while I’m browsing the web because I swear I won’t hear you. If I’m chopping vegetables, for the Great Cat’s sake get me to put down the knife before you ask me what clothes I have to go in the wash.

I can’t even walk and chew gum.

In most aspects of my life, I’ve learned to compensate for my inability to multi-task.

The one place it still gets me every time?

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Not a review of Baking Bad by Kim M Watt

I read Baking Bad, the first Beaufort Scales mystery, by Kim M. Watt and laughed a lot. I’m not going to review it, but hopefully I can help you decide whether you’d enjoy it.

While I was AWOL, something wonderful happened: lots of my friends published books.

(Lots of other things happened too, some great, some not so much, but we can come to those later.)

I’m planning to read them and review them, but not on this blog.

Hey, they’re my friends. If I say negative things feelings will get hurt, and if I gush and spout unicorn sparkles about how great they are (the books, not the friends) you won’t believe me.

So I came up with a different plan. I’m going to help you decide if you want to read them. (Again the books, not the friends.)

Today’s victim, I mean, book, is Baking Bad by the lovely Kim M. Watt.

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