How to make cooking more exciting

If you’re bored with the same old cooking routine, here are some suggestions on how to make cooking more exciting. I don’t recommend any of them.

I’m not a fan of cooking. In fact, I believe eating should be optional.

Sadly, the Great Cat hasn’t implemented that idea yet, so I’m stuck with bumbling my way through the kitchen and failing to improve my diet.

I was talking with the delightful @Bky_The_Geek on Twitter recently, and she had some excellent suggestions for how I might have more fun cooking.

Look! That’s me talking to Rebecca. I got pretty purple stars by my name. That’s to help people who, like me, are terrible at remembering faces.
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What you can learn from a thousand times

I believe you can become awesome at the stomping unicorn backhand–or many other things–in just one day. Here’s how.

I heard a great story once.

The story

A visiting instructor once gave a two-day seminar at my tennis** club, and he told us about a similar seminar he’d given at a different club.

** The sport has been changed to protect the identities of the innocent. I don’t know tennis from snail polo.

On the first day, he’d taught the class a move called the stomping unicorn backhand. Most of the more advanced students were familiar with the stomping unicorn, but it was sparkling new for the less experienced students.

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How to cheat at making good decisions

On the rare occasions when people ask me for it, I can give pretty darn good advice.

Don’t rob a bank if you like rooms with four real walls and a separate bathroom.

Don’t wear a short skirt without underwear when it’s windy.

Don’t reheat the garlic bread in the microwave when it’s still in its tin foil.

To be fair, I’ve only done one of these things myself, and only for a few seconds. (Have you seen blue lightning in the microwave? For a moment I thought I’d caught a dragon.)

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#DearVashti I have a friend…

I give advice on how a Mary Poppins can become more of a bad-ass. Because @AnnaKaling asked #DearVashti and I’m helpful like that.

Some time ago, @AnnaKaling tweeted #DearVashti a question:

Although I’m not Vashti, I consider myself a helpful sort and took it upon myself to answer. (I’m also rather scary myself.)

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Concerning the appropriate level of silliness

The definitive* guide to the appropriate levels of silliness for all parts of your life. (* Not definitive)

Different social situations necessitate different levels of silliness. If I responded to my colleagues in the office the way I do to my friends on Twitter, they’d probably think I was insane.

Them: Did you break the photocopier?

Me: Sorry, that was probably my dragon. He thinks it’s funny to sit on it and take copies of his… never mind.

You can only say such things in the office so many times before people start to avoid you at the water cooler.

So what are the appropriate levels of silliness for different parts of life? Read on for the definitive guide.**

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