On the rare occasions when people ask me for it, I can give pretty darn good advice.
Don’t rob a bank if you like rooms with four real walls and a separate bathroom.
Don’t wear a short skirt without underwear when it’s windy.
Don’t reheat the garlic bread in the microwave when it’s still in its tin foil.
To be fair, I’ve only done one of these things myself, and only for a few seconds. (Have you seen blue lightning in the microwave? For a moment I thought I’d caught a dragon.)
Continue reading “How to cheat at making good decisions”
I give advice on how a Mary Poppins can become more of a bad-ass. Because @AnnaKaling asked #DearVashti and I’m helpful like that.
Some time ago, @AnnaKaling tweeted #DearVashti a question:
Although I’m not Vashti, I consider myself a helpful sort and took it upon myself to answer. (I’m also rather scary myself.)
Continue reading “#DearVashti I have a friend…”
The definitive* guide to the appropriate levels of silliness for all parts of your life. (* Not definitive)
Different social situations necessitate different levels of silliness. If I responded to my colleagues in the office the way I do to my friends on Twitter, they’d probably think I was insane.
Them: Did you break the photocopier?
Me: Sorry, that was probably my dragon. He thinks it’s funny to sit on it and take copies of his… never mind.
You can only say such things in the office so many times before people start to avoid you at the water cooler.
So what are the appropriate levels of silliness for different parts of life? Read on for the definitive guide.**
Continue reading “Concerning the appropriate level of silliness”
I’ve decided to pursue trade (traditional) publication. Here I try to explain the madness that led to this decision.
If you know me, you’ll know you I’m a firm supporter of all writers, whether they write for themselves or an audience, whether they’re self-published or big five-published (except for total jerks–I’m slightly less supportive of them).
I started researching how to publish in 2006 when self-publishing was still very much fringe. (Not by coincidence, this was the year I first completed a first draft. It was 200k words long.)
At the time I was a long way from being ready to publish and I knew it, but I always intended to pursue trade publication.
When I came back to writing seriously a few years ago, the publishing landscape was unrecognisable. I redid my research, and concluded that self-publishing was now a real option, but I still wasn’t sure if it was the right option for me.
Continue reading “Why I’ve decided to pursue trade publication”
No matter how virtuous my intentions are where it comes to eating better, I always seem to end up at pizza.
Periodically I resolve to eat better. That means less pizza and more green leafy things. I also figure I should eat more than one meal a day. (These all sound like good things, right?)
It sounds so straightforward, but I have failed at eating better in numerous ways.
Method 1: The Healthy Supermarket Trip
I resolve to clean up my diet. No more pies for lunch, eating chips when I get home from work, or muffins when I can’t be bothered making lunch.
Continue reading “How to fail at eating better”