The horror of Year One by Nora Roberts

Sebastian and Rain read Year One by Nora Roberts and were horrified to discover she managed to make the end of the world boring.

Sebastian: You forced us to read Year One by Nora Roberts. What do you have to say for yourself?

Rain: I’m so sorry! I honestly thought it was going to be good. She’s so famous, the description was enticing, and it has a 4.5 star rating on Amazon with 770 reviews.

Sebastian: I want to explain why it was so bad but I don’t know where to start.

Rain: You could start with the writing.

Sebastian: You thought the writing was bad? Then it must have been dreadful.

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Not a review of The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon

After Sebastian and Rain get a few things out of their system, they talk about The Sun is Also a Star, by Nicola Yoon. Teenagers, romance, fate, and all that stuff.

Rain: We’ve read so many books recently that we haven’t talked about that I don’t know where to start.

Sebastian: Whose fault is that?

Rain: Hey! I wanted to blog.

Sebastian: You were so pleased with yourself having blogged twice a week for a year that you let your personal problems get in the way.

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Why I don’t write book reviews

Instead of writing book reviews in which I analyse books and lay out the reasons you might like or hate them, I write not-reviews… which don’t. But they are more fun.

You might have noticed I don’t write book reviews, though recently I have been writing a fair few not-reviews in which Sebastian and Rain rant or rave about something I’ve been reading.

I know I’ve talked about why I don’t want to recommend books. Today I’m going to (try and figure out and then) explain my logic for writing not-reviews.

I probably have a number of good reasons. Let’s see if we can work out what they are.

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An impassioned rant about Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult

This is not a review of Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult. It is an impassioned rant about it. Is it a good rant or a bad rant? I’ll let you decide.

Rain: This is my rant about Leaving Time, and the first thing I want to say is what an uninspiring title for a beatiful book. “Leaving Time”. Two words that are entirely unemotive and suggest nothing about what the book’s about. Okay, sure, you see where the phrase comes from and it does mean something to the characters at a time, but this aspect is so lightly developed that it really doesn’t do it for me. And to someone who hasn’t read the book the words mean nothing. Ugh! I almost didn’t read it because of the title.

Sebastian: Ah, but you did read it.

Rain: Well, yea. Because elephants. The elephants were glorious and beautiful and touching and I want to meet them all now! The book should have been called something about elephants. “The Grief of Elephants” seems appropriate and captures the feeling of the book so much better than “Leaving Time”.

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Not a review of Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

My writer half and my reader half discuss Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn and even agree on a few things about it. I’ve tried to avoid major spoilers, but if you don’t want to know anything about the book then don’t read this post until after you’ve read it.

Sebastian, Rain and I just finished reading Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, and now we’re not going to write a review about it. But we are going to talk about it.

Gone Girl got on my list of mega-popular books to read because of its 44,974 Amazon reviews (and counting).

However, it’s somewhat interesting that it only has four stars. Even the lamest of self-published books usually manages an average of four stars, so I have to assume a lot of people hate this book.

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