My inability to recognise people is ruining movies

I have a lot of trouble recognising people, and it seriously interferes with my enjoyment of certain movies.

On a scale of 1 to 10, my ability to recognise people I’ve met before is beyond terrible.

At times this is inconvenient, like when I introduce myself to someone at conference and they gently remind me that we’ve met at several conferences before. Same thing at meetings.

Fortunately I can smile sweetly, which usually stops them being too mad.

Look, it’s not my fault that all people look the same. They all have hair, except the ones who don’t. They all have faces, except the ones who don’t. And they all have a body, two arms, and two legs. Except the ones who don’t.

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How I believe I spend my day vs how I actually spend my day

How I believe I spend my day: sunrise

Self-deception is a fine art with a long and hallowed tradition. I’ve been getting gold stars in it since primary school.

In order to celebrate my continued success in this arena, I thought I’d lay out and admire how badly I deceive myself about how I spend my weekdays.

5:30am: My alarm goes off

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I have no idea what I’m doing (and you probably don’t either)

Trail through the mist: no idea where I am or where I'm going
Nope, I have no idea where I am or where I’m going.

Today is day three of my new one-coffee-a-day regime, which seems like a great time to point out that I have no idea what I’m doing. (Don’t ask how the two are related. They’re related because they’re both happening today.)

Doing in what?

Doing in anything. Doing in life.

What’s more, I suspect this is quite common. Normal, even.

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What are your stress dreams?

Not a stressful river

There are certain dreams I frequently have when I’m stressed. They probably say something deep (and not very flattering) about my psyche.

Perhaps weirdly, they’re not about the most calamitous events–in the scheme of things they’re closer to laughable–but that doesn’t stop them being terribly stressful to live (or dream) through.

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Sorry, I already have too many friends

Too many friends: swan

I had a wonderful day with you today, though I really shouldn’t have eaten so much apple pie. The swans would have liked more.

Again next week? I’d love to.

You want to be friends?

A cloud blocks the sun and the drone of flies competes with the noise of the highway.

Sorry, I already mumble mumble.

What?

I already have too many friends.

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